Let me give you a little bit of background information......

Those who hope in the Lord, will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles
who knows, but that you have come to your royal position for a time such as this.

Hello to you, my faithful friends, and hello to those of you, who just found this blog online - I thought I have to give you a little bit of background information......my previous blogs (http://youschka650220.blogspot.com - Upclose and Personal (In the name of the father), http://youschka.blogspot.com - Yielding to the Spirit (In the name of the father) and http://youschka2013.blogspot.com - Happily Ever After (In the name of the father)) lead you from day one of blogging for myself, cause I was too scared, to publish my blog, even though I knew, that this was, what God wanted me to do....... - almost 2 years ago - to today.....with embracing this endeavour more and more whole heartedly, and with lending my voice/my pen fully to the holy spirit, through the ups and downs of my daily walk with Christ.

I invite you to read these blogs - I have learnt a lot through writing and blogging about my journey to trust him more fully every step of the way - for I know, that every voice matters and our story is important - yours is just as important as mine - God wouldn't have called me to write this, if he didn't want to bless you through it - I pray that my journey may help you, to bypass some of the rough waters I had to walk through, and help you to entrust your life to the one, who knows your heart and who wants to lead you into his kingdom.

But for those of you, who either don't have the desire or time, to read them, here is a bit of background, to bring you up to speed: I started this blog, when I hit rock bottom, with my son having been diagnosed somewhere on the autistic spectrum, with a slight ADHD and some aspects of Aspergers Syndrome......he was almost expelled from school, due to his inability to deal with stress, and loosing his ground and being very aggressive towards his peers and teachers - even to me. Thanks to God providing an amazing school, and strategically placing key persons around him......with myself deciding, that medication such a #Ritalin, was not the way to solve this problem, but realizing, that I had to face my fears and the issues, I had pushed deep into the crevices of my heart, and to finally grow up and take ownership of my life and all the choices I made. 

All this could not have happened, had God not worked within me, and had taken me by the hand, and showed me that I could trust him with a) my heart and b) with my immediate family. Through my diving into the word of God and through my training to be a Psychotherapist/Couch, and with God placing people in my life, that were willing to be my pillars of strength, that I could lean on, when nothing else would hold me......I stepped into my new life with one direction: Victory in Christ.

The blogs mentioned above show you, how I grew in my faith and how we as a family got stronger and how I grew up to be a mature child of God. Today, the enemy/satan can not scare me anymore and I can stand up for myself and for what I believe. The glory for all this is found in Christ working inside of me, strengthening me through the storms of life that threatened to drown me throughout my journey - sickness, judgement and criticism of others, persecution because my faith is very controversial in many aspects, me doubting the anointing and the promises of God, when the arrows where pointed at me. 

They also tell you about a love to someone I met many years ago, that I thought was the one that God had for me.......well, we didn't work out - at least not until now, but God has set me free from hanging on to something, that was very real, and still is today, because he has shown me, that yes, he had planned it that way, but there is still this thing called 'free will' that God can't take away, therefore the person has to subject to his guidance or the guidance of the holy spirit freely. I was asked several times, to surrender my will and my desire to see his perfect plan regarding this man unfold in the here and now. 

Today I know, that this man and Christ are one (for it is in the fully surrendered state of being, when we submit to him whole heartedly), that we meet our eternal husband - the eternal husband is when we meet Christ in the mate God brought into our lives (you might want to read 'Longing to meet Jesus face to face' in my blog 'Yielding to the Spirit, or 'Happily Ever After' in my blog 'Upclose and Personal' - to find a deeper insight into that topic).

This year around Valentine's I was led again, to completely surrender this burning desire to be united with my twin heart in the here and now, I shed a lot of tears, but I did let go - shortly thereafter I was reconnected with a man I've met a quarter century ago, and we have been enjoying a wonderful relationship, albeit long distance, since - I don't know, where this is going, that's okay, as long as I know, that God is in control. I trust him  with all my heart.......this summer, when I felt lonely, cause we couldn't spend one weekend together as we had originally planned, I learnt, that it's not about the person, it's about the spirit and soul of both partners surrendered to the guidance of the holy spirit, that's when this true love happens, that we all, deep in our hearts, long for. Yet it's coming home to Christ, your first love. So the weekend that I anticipated to be a very sad and lonely one, actually was an amazing one, spent with #theloverofmysoul in God's kingdom. That's when I realized that he was always right here with me - and that separation is only the lie of the world.

God has shown me, that I am living this amazing relationship already in my heart - Christ's heart beats in mine, and mine in his - with his heart in mine I can be bold and I can stand tall, even if I sometimes want to hide away from all the demands of this world called life......there are moments, when I am still lonely in the here and now, because I am still carrying the load alone, but in the spirit I don't anymore. So until God unites me with the one, that matches my love for him (Christ) here for a committed relationship, I will continue walking in his will, and trust that he will surround me with people that will help me carry the load. As much I as would love to have the 'happily ever after' with my twin heart in the here and now, I am willing to wait until heaven, if that's what it takes.

My twin heart is and always will be the one, that God brought my way all these years ago, but as I wrote in 'A valuable lesson in the heartache' in my most recent blog 'Happily Ever After', we may just not end up together this side of heaven, because that means both of us surrendered......yet eternity belongs to us - that's God's promise to me! God freed me from the false belief, that I couldn't be happy with another ('I am a believer of twin hearts and timeless love') - and that this kind of love was not mine to find in this life (see "Sick and tired of being strong for others....' -  both posts of my blog 'Yielding to the Spirit (In the name of the father)). 

What I have learnt in the past, is, that God doesn't want me to be alone in this thing called life anymore, and I trust his guidance in all areas of my life, including the area of love. And he has blessed me greatly with amazing encounters over the summer, but the best so far is, that I know, Christ truly is always by my side, he is calling  me his beloved bride and he longs to be united with me, as much as I long to be united with him. I am his, but he is mine, too - so I know, it's only a matter of his timing, that we will be together for real and we'll be able to live the 'happily ever after' in the here and now - it's a matter of finding a willing vessel - that's all!!!

Okay, friends, this has been a long one, but I felt lead to give you these insights, as some of what I am writing may not make sense to all of you - I hope it does now.

Blessings from my heart to yours - 
Amen